Today is the first time since arriving in Sweden I didn't give it my all. I woke up, felt like shit, had hardly slept at all and when I went to brush my teeth I could hardly hold up the damn toothbrush! I stood for a few minutes in the bathroom debating if I could make it to school. There have been morning of exhaustion before and I made it through them and after some food and my first few gathers at the furnace was able to get over it and focus on the tasks at hand. But, today I just could not picture myself surviving the walk to school even... which is sad... it is not very far. I crawled back into bed... called the school told them that I wouldn't make it... and passed out until lunch time. I ate some lunch... watched a little tv then went back to sleep for another few hours. What is wrong with me?!?!
Now, I am feeling better physically but feel awful mentally. I feel like I have wasted a day in bed. I should be at school learning things... becoming the best glass blower I can be... NOT watching Into The Wild on the couch in my pajamas. It is the first time since coming here that I have not embraced whole heartily everything that is going on and jumped at each chance to do something new or different or even normal. I feel guilty for taking a day to sleep as much as possible. Which, is also silly I know. Sometimes you just need a day to recharge... to build up your stock as much as possible. I have clearly been needing it since nearly everyday for a long while I have woken up starving and exhausted at 8 AM. I guess my little body just needed a looooong nap. Hopefully soon my brain and heart can accept that it was not a complete waste of a day. Sure, it would have been more convenient if this had happened on a Saturday or Sunday but oh well. When is life convenient? Now, I just to need to stop feeling like such a looser. Haha.
I took a little walk around the block, which is not square shaped or even remotely close to the size of a normal block I just noticed, to get some fresh air and get myself out of the apartment and feeling a little bit more like a human being. I think it helped. Now maybe I will fully embrace my day of relaxation and refreshment... I will have to see what I can come up with... maybe I will paint my nails or something very girly :) And this picture from the internet greatly helped improve my mood:
PS: Thanks for always being there to share my happiness and listen to me complain too!